fucking Santa Claus and Burger King

It's half past one in the morning and I'm sat in Burgerking at Augsberg train station. I'm not sure how the day ended up here. It started well enough – the sun was sunny and even getting repeatedly lost en route to the botanical gardens was worthwhile as I discovered the beautiful garden allotments of Augsberg. I don't think people live on them but each one has a shed, or chalet so magnificent that you could (I happily would) and most of them had, in addition to the usual allotmenty bits, little lawns, and swings, paddling pools and barbeques. All were divided by high hedges and gravelled walkways which gave the place a distinctly mazy feel. I felt a bit Alicy and had a snooze on a bench in the sun with one eye half open in case the white rabbit hopped past. Then I found a long water side gallery of stunning graffiti. I eventually found the botanical gardens and they're lovely too – difficulty was that anywhere else you could just head for the nearest trees but every time I saw a load of huge mature trees looming over some four storey building or another I'd go there and find out that it was just another load of huge mature trees that they'd just decided to leave in between the houses – to make the place look pretty. So the gardens were lovely, especially the Japanese garden and the apple strudel and ice cream (Bavaria's only real contribution to global cuisine – unless you count sauerkraut – I don't) was lovely too – so lovely I had to have another little snooze in the sun. Then I caught the bus back to Konigsplatz and wandered round the little town market which was – you guessed it – lovely. As was some Noodle and tofu soup (couldn't stomach any more piles of meat and potatoes or donner kebabs). I picked my rucksack up from the lovely youth hostel and caught a bus out to the Aikido Dojo where I met Suzanne there about to start the children's class. She's a tiny powerhouse of a woman and although I couldn't understand everything she said she is so expressive that it was easy to follow the class. I trained with the kids 5 'til half six and then with the adults from 7 'til 9 . It was great to do some proper exercise after a week of relative idleness and recent training meant I was able to keep up. I even out-knackered one of the guys – but it turns out he's a paramedic and had just finished a shift and so I guess he had an excuse. Suzanne asked around and found a lift back to the station for me – with someone called Chris – who turned out to be the paramedic. He came out of the changing rooms with a black t-shirt on that said 'fucking Santa Claus' in sparkling script across his chest and maybe it was that or the beer (they have beer in the dojo vending machine!) but for some reason my brain went walkabout and after being dropped on the station (and escorted to the right platform, and hugged) I went in my bag to find my wallet had gone missing.
I rang Suzanne who raced back to the dojo and rang Chris who checked his car whilst I emptied and repacked my rucksack and bag in case they had developed any secret pockets that my wallet had self-migrated to and watched my train pull away from the platform. Suzanne came to the station and we went to the dojo for another look but there was no sign of it there. It must have been lifted from my bag in the station but I've no idea how – some twat must have lightning fingers is all I can say. So Suzanne rang the train people and they've re-reserved me a place on the 4am train which should still get me to Koln for my connection to Brussels, which might get me to Calais in time for the ferry. Suzanne lent me some money but the station restaurant was shut and so here I am in Burgerking, feeling a bit sick, very tired, un-thrilled at another two hours wait, and totally stupid for getting my wallet nicked. I've cancelled the card, I think my drivers licence was in there and I can't recall what else – random bits and pieces.
Great – now a large group of singing, clapping, chanting, staggeringly drunk Bavarian chavs have come in. I shall sit and look growly and hope they ignore me.