Imagine if...

...every evening at about six thirty your life rewound 24hours and replayed, every day. Then imaginevthat the four hour that got replayed involved being dressed in a series of increasingly bizarre outfits and dancing and singing with a large crowd of people who, on the one hand, you don't know at all but, on the other hand, are such an intense part of your life and have been for months now that they feel closer than they should. It's sort of like that.
It's good but not entirely - I'm so glad I have a job where I don't have to be cheerful all the time, I don't know how people do it. Especially in much more demanding roles, for months at a time.
still - last day today - two more shows.
At warm up last night we started on a gospel number that went:
I wanna sing sing sing, I wanna dance dance dance...' which then went to the sopranos whilst the altos did 'swing low sweet chariot' and the basses did 'Oh when the saints' - the three worked together in great harmony and I think everyone got tingling spines, or some sort of buzz, there were a lot of smiles.
Backstage even the one person who I've struggled to like was nice to me - hope yet?
One lady (who I rather get on with) brought a (one, solitary) bottle of beer in to drink before the performance. No big deal to my mind - I'd been up to the sand bar for a swift pint myself. But apparently this is FORBIDDEN backsatge, absolutely unprofessional and an instant sacking offense in the world of REAL theatre and a couple of the more professionally experienced choir members made this vocally clear. It reminded me of the difference to attitudes to drinking and scuba diving at the Red Sea (very very bad) and Wales (no big deal and quite funny really) and smoking (Egypt 20 marlboro reds throughout the day - Wales shock and horror at one roly).
Overall I've got a new found understanding and appreciation of the effort and dedication taht goes into making and performing a show. Certainly the choir have worked hard but our bit has been nothing compared to the focus that the main characters and support crew put in.
I want to be an engineer again.
Right - I'm going to try and make my flat less of a health hazard

What day is it?

Is it Thursday? I think so - it was a matinee. I can't remember a time when I wasn't performing Doris, or when my eyes didn't hurt. Or not my eyes as such, although shutting them stops it. I think it's my frontal lobes.
I'm noticing how we make space for each other when there is no space. Someone commented that it's a shame I have to sit by the stage and miss out on all the cameraderie back in the changing rooms but I think I would crack up if I had to sit in there, even though they're (almost all) nice people. There's a way to be stood next to someone and leave them be, as if they weren't stood there.
I'm not signing up for anything with a two week run again, not unless I can stop working and everything else whilst I do it. I'm so glad I don't have a job where I have to be cheerful all the time. I could never work in Disneyland.
Someone was sick in the corridor just before the first number and a breakaway choir section wanted to go on all from the same side but as chaperones we said no and made them walk past it. A phone went off in the dressing rooms in the first half - twice - it turned out to belong to one of the two actresses/writers. We all had slightly different positions as not all the cast could make the matinee which threw some people out but actually made for a much less crowded stage.
My eyes just want to shut so I'm going to let them.