bras and bananas

It was raining tonight and part of me wanted to use that as an excuse not to go out but I pushed myself to do it anyway, putting on my burglar clothes and pedalling off into the dark for distant bins – well about a mile away. I had the same sick nervous feeling but tonight there was something else in the mix – a little edge of excitement. Weird – I tell myself that it’s because I’m such a naturally ‘good’ person that even this tiny act of wrongdoing (only in the eyes of the law and mainstream society – so not in the eyes of anybody who actually uses their eyes) rattles my conscience. I suspect the real reason is simply that I’m chickenshit.
The bins were round the back, my heart fell when I saw the massive fence, then lifted when I saw the massive open gate, sank at the bolted bin store, rose at the lack of a lock, fell at the sight of a load of plastic and then rose again when I realised it was almost full of food. The first sack had masses of beef wellington and crispy duck ready meals, still pretty much frozen as far as I could tell but I hesitated and then decided to leave it. Bin meat is a hurdle I’ve yet to get over although I know full well that my eyes and my nose will tell me if it’s bad and that thorough cooking will make it safe. The next bag was full of bananas and bread – result! Also bizarrely lots of baby clothes and car mats and stuff that never goes off – all immaculate – why is it being thrown out – surely someone must have a use for it – even if they gave it to a charity shop.
I rapidly filled one pannier and then realised a delivery lorry was pulling up to the gate and so stuffed the last couple of things I could grab in and pedalled off, not even looking up at the driver to see if he’d seen me.
Back nearer home I checked out a couple more locations including the place I got the eggs last week. Several perfectly good looking loaves were on the bottom but I couldn’t reach them without climbing in. I need a telescopic grabby thing, or one of those litter picking sticks. They would have kept me in breakfasts for weeks – what with the pumpkin jam I made (I found some cranberries at the back of the freezer and mixed those in and it’s almost exactly like raspberry).
So I decided that enough was plenty and came home, after less than a hour with twenty or more bananas, one small loaf, six fruited tea cakes, a ‘high quality black leather purse’ (that’s what it says on the box) and a 34C black and pink embroidered bra! (the last two items I’d hoped were a box of chocolates and I don’t know what)
If anyone would like any of the last two just say the word! If you want any of the tea cakes or bananas you’ll have to visit.